why ?

I never been one to focused on all this bullshit "do me , bla bla, go out have fun"  that whole bullshit na i feel like shit im sulking im depressed so wtf that shit wont things any better neither does hearing a voice without love its the same person but a completely different heart i can't even feel the so called love you'll always have for me
in your voice and yet again it does nothing but hurt me the only relief i have is in memories. that are all in my head and the single ticket in my wallet . everything else gone but i dont need letters to know how much you used to love me i can't even write a post without breaking into tears. i dont know when this will be over but i hope soon . There isn't any eternal love you'll have for me just the fact we spent that much time as a part of each other . I love you and you were just happy with me at the moment. but that is completely okay i've begged you time after time to not give up on us i tried to be the one and make you the girl for me you already were and it's all gone just nothing anymore. our story is over nothing else to write obviously no way to edit our story but its over and you've moved on and i don't know when i will but it wont be for awhile i won't let it happen just to hold on to the only memories we've had i should have never gotten mad at you for not kissing me in front michelle or w.e and told you about it should've instead held you hugged you told you that i loved you with all my heart kissed you on the cheek and let you leave maybe then the weekend wouldve been better maybe you wouldve reconsidered leaving me and dropping this but thats in the past now along with the love you have for me and everything else .dumb enough to put the songs you tell me on my itunes and they play during writing a blog wtf =/ why did this have to happen man why now so close to the end to what would've been a great start for us as freshmen in college going toschool in the city i would've fucked dorming and gone to queens college or hunter or something idc and just did transit and lunch everyday and sleeping over and just being happy together . but things don't always workout life isn't perfect great not this already gone shit comes on WHAT THE FUCK WHY CANT I GET YOU OUT OF MY FUCKING HEAD JUST LEAVE MAN JUST GO KEEP DOING THE THINGS YOU DO JUST FUCKING GO GET OUT OF MY HEAD LEAVE ME ALONE . just know that i need you more than i ever have. i love you bullshit about loving someone enough to let them go :'( i love you hunny